it can be different today

It was cold today and definitely a fall feeling when I was out mowing. I especially felt it this morning as I rode my bike to the library. Tuesdays and Thursdays are my mornings to work at the library: reading and writing for my master's program papers and thesis. On those days I spend the afternoons with Lilly. Thus today was my afternoon with Lilly.

This is my schedule. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I spend the mornings with Lilly and work in the afternoons. Anne has the opposite schedule. Weekends are designated family days.

However, Lilly's nap time is usually between 1 and 2:30. So on Tuesdays and Thursdays if Lilly isn't napping by 1 when Anne is scheduled to begin her afternoons to work, then we have a couple options. Lilly can nap later in the Bobber, in which case she only naps for 45 mins or so rather than her usual 2+ hrs in bed. Or Anne can stay home and put Lilly down for her nap (in which case Lilly usually falls asleep between 1 and 3) and sacrifice some of her work time, working when Lilly is napping, then moving into the bedroom or basement to work when Lilly wakes up and it's time to play and make dinner. (Today I tried putting Lilly down for her nap with the bottle but this didn't work: whether she was too wired, over-tired (or both), or if the light was too bright shining through the shades, I don't know.)

Today Lilly napped from 2:30-4. Anne stayed home and worked the first hour in the bedroom. By 2 Lilly was tired but still she couldn't sleep without Anne.

When Lilly woke up Anne said she herself was tired, that she could be with Lilly and make dinner if I would mow (which I've been meaning to get around to). I said hesitantly, "But it's my afternoon with Lilly. And I'm going to make dinner." Anne in return replied, "It can be different today." That's the short of it.

Without going into all the details, let me just finish by saying this. We don't live by schedules. Though it is (at least we have found it to be) a somewhat easier to navigate our days with Lilly when we have a schedule in mind, because it puts us at ease to know that if we're having a bit of a struggle whenever: then at such and such time somethings gotta change. Whether we need a break from Lilly, or from work, or if the morning is dragging on or the slow afternoon is putting us in a funk, we know that the clock is there to help us count it down.

But we don't live by schedules. Sometimes it's good to say, "It can be different today." I was thinking about this at yoga tonight. I was trying to find peace in my practice and in that simple phrase. Because in life like in yoga, you feel where your practice is that day; and you work with it.