february summary

Nighttime weaning
accomplished: Lilly goes to bed in the extra bedroom between 7 and 8 p.m., then transfers in to me between 10 p.m. and 2 a.m. and Leighton goes in to sleep in the extra bedroom so Lilly and I can have more room in our bed. She settles quickly, without nursing, I often can't remember her coming in to me. She doesn't nurse till 4 a.m., often it's not till 5 a.m. Typically, she nurses at 4, 5, and 6, and then we get up for her to pee & poo in the potty. Sometimes she wakes up between transfer and first nursing, could be teething pain, gas, or discomfort, but will most often settle soon again on my arm. Such an amazing change since we started this in January and how things were before with nursing every couple hours from bedtime till morning.

Winter wonderland
Temperatures finally warmed up a little to entice me out on some amazing skiing in the white covered prairie land, blue sky and sunshine. We've gotten lots of snow this winter. Driving out into the country side yesterday, I saw flocks of pheasants and wild turkeys looking for food by the roadside.

Child swap
I've finally found two moms to swap child care with. So far, this has gotten me two mornings with yoga and Leighton and I have one brunch/lunch date to look forward to and are now also planning an early dinner date. (Keep in mind, we've only had one dinner date so far, when Leighton's mom came out to visit in November, so we are very excited about this.)

Urban living
First weekend of the month, we house sat for some friends in Saint Paul. We splurged and ate out, got to visit with good friends in the city, went to the Walker art museum in Minneapolis where they have free activities for children every first Saturday of the month. We headed up to the cities again the second Sunday of the month, Valentine's day, for some sushi. We'd planned on happy hour, but it was canceled with all the people there. So we splurged again; it was worth it.

Manuscripts submitted
I submitted the second half of my manuscript on feminist porn to my editor and launched my next book which will be a collection of mamas' stories about their children's sleep. Leighton received positive feedback on the story he wrote for Lilly from a professor of children's literature at Saint Olaf College and a friend of ours in Norway whose expertise is children's literature and who works with promoting Norwegian literature abroad. We sent the story to my editor who passed it on to the children's department in the same publishing house.

Got a grant
I finally received a big grant I've been applying for; maybe third time really is a charm? I know my proposal kept improving as I got further into the project, and I received helpful feedback from friends. It's a boost to the project and my self-esteem.

Stay or go?
We put our house out for sale this month with mixed feelings. There's so much that keeps us here, so much that draws us to go there. The pros and cons seem to outweigh each other, leaving us rather handlingslammet.

Lilly
has all four corner molars now, but teething's still a pain. She loves books, music, dancing (she's obsessed with Strawberry Shortcake's Let's dance these days), baby MacDonald and farm animals. She has three friends she repeats the names of: Avery, Addie, and Anna (pronounced Annie). She speaks a lot, more Norwegian than English, a lot that sounds like Chinese to us. She loves hugs and kisses, cuddling and playing with mama and papa.

It's difficult too

Perhaps I should start with how difficult parenting is, because that's half of it. This perspective is partly inspired by my wife, Anne, who when I first proposed this project reminded me that parenting is wonderful, yes, but difficult, too; and partly by the incident related below.

Just the other day my daughter, Lilly, and I were up in the middle of the night watching her new favorite movie, Marley & Me. Even though Lilly is only 21 mos. old, she does watch the occasional movie (more about this later); and she loves dogs. So when she couldn't sleep because of a cold, and when Anne had had enough, and when I tried to find any which way to keep Lilly from crying, hysterically, wanting "MAMA," it was "Mauley" who consoled her.

We snuggled up in the extra bedroom with my laptop and watched most of the movie, before Lilly fell asleep, reclined against her pillow. I shut the laptop and, after a much needed toilet run, climbed under the covers next to her.

You might hear that parenting is hard; especially during the 9 or so months before birth. This often comes from someone older--a parent, a grandparent, a so-called friend of the family--or even from other parents, eager to offer their advice. Well, to me, this doesn't quite capture it fully; it even seems like a cliche. Hard, difficult, whatever. It seems like someone should go into exactly what makes parenting so difficult.

Of course it's different for everyone, and I'm not about to sum it up here in a blog post. But let's say for now, for me, it has to do with that indescribable feeling, that something about fatherhood I want to explore in this blog.

The above story serves here as an incident on which to reflect; an example, I believe, from which all those feelings that I have for my daughter can be elaborated; a place to start, so to speak, to narrate the on-going process of my fatherhood. But before I explore that "Whole new kind of love!" I was warned of, that ever-expanding love I have for my daughter, I'll start with some of the difficult things about being a parent.

Coming soon.