summertime!

Drinks outside this spring

It's "summmmertime" as Lilly likes to say whenever the sun is out. We've been enjoying hanging on the porch again, planting in the garden, playing outside. It's so interesting to see what a difference a year can make. Whereas last year, we found ourselves constantly worrying about Lilly running out into the street, we can now let her play outside some by herself, close to the house (with a frequent eye on her). She'll find her toys in the garage: her trike and chalk and bubbles. She'll play in the sandbox. And slide a little. Look at the growing plants and flowers.

Mostly, of course, she prefers us to play with her, or, rather, that the girls next door come over to play with her. They are both ten and Lilly so enjoys their attention.

Sorry we haven't posted much here lately, but it's been a busy time. Leighton's gotten more hours at Laura Baker, giving me less time to write. The time that I have been getting, I've devoted to polishing my book manuscript, putting together a proposal to lure the interest of an agent to help me find the right publisher, and developing my three websites: two blogs and an online resource center, which Leighton has been helping me with a lot: we envision it as a family business down the road.

Though we've been busy, never feeling like there's enough time, we've also been feeling truly blessed by the generosity of friends and family in the last few months. First, dear friends decided to bestow upon us their super nice Subaru. Then my parents offered to buy us all tickets to come visit them in Norway this summer. -- We're leaving on Wednesday, and the same friend who gave us her Subaru is taking us to the airport. Are we lucky, or what?

For Easter, Lilly got a garden kit from grandpa Kent and grandma Cheryl. We planted the seeds in the pots outside last week, and she worked so carefully to do it right. -- And fortunately, her idea that stirring the soil again after planting the seeds, did not kill the spirit of these hardy plants: radishes, carrots, beans, peas, lettuce, and spinach are already sprouting.

We've been planting together in my garden too, and though her helping me sometimes feels like it's undoing what I want to get done (or at least slowing it down significantly), her joy in helping me do real work is definitely worth it.

We return from Oslo just in time for Lilly 's three-year birthday, the day after which she'll begin preschool at the Montessori children's house in town. Preschool summer program that is, but still?! Such a big girl. Not a baby. Not a toddler. -- A preschooler.

Big girl on her trike this spring

Other recent landmarks include me not having to lie in bed with her at night till she's asleep. Though putting on pajamas and brushing her teeth are not among Lilly's favorite things to do, as soon as we're through with those tasks, we can go to bed, nurse and cuddle a little, and then I can get up after ten minutes or so, usually by 8:30 P.M. and with her still awake (she always wants the door ajar, just so, just as I remember wanting it as a child: precision is key). -- As opposed to before when I'd have to lie there for up to an hour, waiting for her to fall asleep (and often falling asleep myself).

It's pretty amazing to me how smoothly this transition evolved; she was just ready for it. Though it was exasperating at times before to lie there with her for so long in the evening, I'm glad we never did the cry-it-out (or monitored crying) method.

In July, Leighton turns thirty. A big day that deserves celebrating in style (please: any creative ideas?).

Speaking of parties; Leighton and Lilly are at some friends for one as I write this post on this warm Memorial Day holiday, giving me some peace and quiet to enjoy myself on our porch. And smell the fresh grass being cut by our neighbor; the lily of the valley in full bloom and the few lilacs holding on. Not a bad holiday.

At the pool last summer

Also to look forward to, is summertime at our city's pool. It opens the weekend we get back from Norway. We've purchased our summer passes and I look forward to picnics and playful (hopefully also some lazy) afternoons there this summer. It's been a wet, cold spring, so I foresee plenty warm summer days. Hey, it's summmmertime, you now?!

gardening

We've enjoyed so much tending to our garden this summer. It's amazing how rewarding the work is, including weeding and watering. And we're learning lessons. Like I planted so many things too close together, especially the radishes and green onion, not giving them enough space to grow. And I had no idea a couple envelopes of lettuce would produce THAT MUCH. We do eat salad with all of our meals, but it's too much even for us. Also next time, I'm going to spread out the seeding of the salad seeds more. And I'm going to be more patient with the perennial flower seeds ...

Nonetheless, much to be proud about. Compare these pics, taken just a few weeks apart:

EARLY GARDENING STAGE:

MATURING GARDENING STAGE:

The best part about it is how fun it is to garden as a family. Leighton clears land, cuts down branches, mows, and waters; Lilly walks around with her bucket and spade, points to the growing plants saying "blomst," and picks twigs and rocks; and I plan the garden beds, purchase the seeds and seedlings, sow seeds, plant seedlings, weed, tend to the garden, and harvest. We've already savored bountiful amounts of salad, arugula, cilantro, basil, parsley and chives. Yesterday and today our first HUGE cucumber (with Greek salad and tzatziki yesterday; Norwegian cucumber salad today as a compliment to salmon). The hot peppers, bell peppers, and tomatoes are coming. Today all three of a poppy, cosmo and zinnia came into bloom. The purple and yellow UW pansies (from seeds dated 2008) are in bloom. As are marigolds (as you can see). And more. Hostas, day lilies, lambs ear, campanulas, iris and more plants in the two flower beds behind the garage, most received as transplants from friends. The hostas in the front of the house facing east are not included in these pictures; they're just there tending to themselves. As soon as the lily is in bloom though, we'll include a snapshot of it too where it stands among the hostas and ferns.

creating a garden

The idea of gardening has always appealed to me, it's always been something I'd like to get more into. But aside from a few crocuses and tulips that I planted sort of haphazardly when I first bought this house in 2003 (I actually planted more that first fall than what has since come up; I just think I didn't do a very good job planting the bulbs deep enough down into the ground), it's remained a nice idea.

Now finally, I'm getting deep and dirty into it.

I think as a mama, creating a garden, nurturing growth, is becoming more in tune with me. I no longer crave being a free bird twittering around; I want the sanctuary of a home with healthy roots.

This weekend I finally got a former flower bed next to our porch, on the south side of our house, cleaned up from a messy layer of wood chips and twigs, old tarp, grass and moss. Then I borrowed the gardening tools of our good neighbors to dig up the hard packed earth.

I'm so proud of my achievements; though it's not a very big lot. Unfortunately, because of the shade from a huge walnut tree, I don't think I can grow tomatoes here. I might have to (ask Leighton help me) build a case garden for the tomato plants and place it on the narrow stretch of lawn between our patio and neighbors on the north side of our house. This area seems to be the sunniest spot in our yard and the tulips I planted there several years ago, still come up every year. Perhaps one day I can make a rose garden here.

Enjoying ourselves on our patio after a full fun weekend of yard work and play.

 

dreaming

We returned late last night from a very nice Thanksgiving break out in Wyoming. It was a long day of traveling, but even on 4 hours of sleep (on me), it went quite well. Lilly's such a great traveler. And we all got a good night of rest last night in our own comfy bed. Lilly woke up so happy to be home again; I think we all were. It's that Norwegian saying, borte bra, hjemme best (good to be away, best to be home).

Today started out with great expectations: I've gained, uhm, a few pounds lately and have been feeling some nausea. So this morning I took a pregnancy test. Negative. Turns out the extra pounds and the nausea are caused by a little too much good food lately. Of course, I haven't yet had a period yet since before I was pregnant with Lilly. What with all the frequent nursing still, that all makes sense. But we got a little excited about the possible family expansion. As I said to Leighton yesterday; we can't be that exhausted if we're still excited about the possibility of that!

Anyway, it was nice to be back in the library, working, and then as the day went on, I got to thinking that the best scenario, if we could plan these things, would be to get pregnant after we're back in Norway and I'm done with my book and the promotion of it, and onto the next one (which I'd like to be on parenting/mothering). So ideally next fall or winter sometime. By then we'd also maybe like to have Lilly in barnehage (preschool), which would allow both Leighton and I time for part time jobs as well, while also giving us time to write. Of course, you can't plan for things like these. Especially when you've already been told, like I was, that you can't conceive naturally. But we can hope. So we'll do that. Dream and hope. And enjoy what we have.

but they say it takes a village

[scenario: "she," a friend of mine, also the wife of "he." She's out of town for a conference, he's home alone with a baby-toddler boy. Following cut & pasted from facebook:]

(he): I don't think I have what it takes.
(other dad): You'd be surprised just how little it really takes.
(he): But sometimes what it takes is not compatible.

(he): I guess I also wonder if I should do whatever it takes.

(she): You DO have what it takes, of course you do!
(he): But they say it takes a village. I have something more like a hut, perhaps a yurt.

This little interchange made me smile, laugh, it's funny, and it's true. Our midwife told us about this research she'd read about, how people who live in shared community live longer. I crave adult contact. Today, the only person I spoke with "live" was my friend Nancy, for a couple of minutes, we dropped by her office, between classes. I can't really count the cashier at Cub's. And Leighton was via Skype.

When Lilly and I were in the park this afternoon, I saw two other "real" people there: the woman with the dog Lilly got to bark back at, and a Carleton student. Both talking on their cells. I was craving conversation with either (though I have no clue who they were), but they were so busy speaking on their cells.

Is this as good as it gets these days? I find myself, now that Leighton is gone, blogging, emailing, Skyping, chatting (online), facebooking, googling, etc., etc., more than when he's around to talk with. And it's not just to "waste" or "spend" time: I'm reaching out.

I think it's a little sad. Because in the morning, I wake up, and I don't feel 'filled' the way I do when I've spent an evening with people in person, unmediated by media. Of course, we're always separate, even when together, words never really bridge all that well, or sometimes they succeed ok. But there's an energy you can experience, without or despite words, when you're sharing space.

While I must confess to being sort of a loner, I also regret the way western culture today reinforces an individualistic form of living. Leighton and I have talked about how when we next move, we need it to be to somewhere we have friends, where we can build a community, a village.

"make yourself at home"

We've been back over two weeks now. Settling in. There are many things to do around the house. Chores which are hard to get around to with our new schedules. But we're making ourselves at home.

Lilly loves all the space to run and play. Here she is with her friends, cozying up on the couch.

We inflated the pool last weekend. Anne and Lilly got in to cool off, pictured here playing "I see (you)!" Lilly says, over and over, "I see! I see!" with lots laughs.

Lilly also likes playing in our bed (even though she has her own big girl bed in her own bedroom). Here she is reclining against the pillows with her round belly, eating the cord to the window shade like a little glutton.

Here's a picture of the two women of the house on the sun porch, which we are getting good use out of while we still can. Mama got a new haircut and Lilly is wearing a cute new, "girlie" shirt . Aren't they both lovely!


We've added a new album called USA II. The Greece album is now complete. If you didn't keep up with our adventures this summer, link to the album and click on the "slideshow" button for an automated picture show. Also, we've updated some albums with pictures from our film camera, so check the sidebar.

home in Northfield

Lilly playing with my Mardi Gras pearls on our porch

It's Saturday, Jesse James weekend here in Northfield; the town's invaded by people relishing on fair food, kids enjoying rides at the amusement park that's been set up, we can still hear the rowdy sounds from the rodeo, lots of stuff going on. I was looking forward to my first yoga class back at Heartwork this morning, but alas, they had closed for the festivities. Fortunately, I ran into a good friend and former colleague and we teamed up for a walk instead, through mosquito ridden prairie landscape. Then Leighton and Lilly met up with me and we went to the local "Used a bit shoppe" where we got Lilly some new toys (a work station table she loves to work at in the kitchen when I cook, a piano/xylophone, and a thing to pull or push on, like a lawn mower, with a sound), all for six bucks.

Lilly's been down with a cold since we got back, the climate change, maybe, combined with a reduced immune system after three days of traveling. She had a rough night last night, teething again, I think. After a long nap this afternoon, she had lots of parmasan (!) and pasta for supper. -- I think her tummy hurts a bit now... It feels full and hard! In any case, after she finally fell asleep, Leighton and I got to watch a movie on my laptop, out here on the porch (Australia, with Nicole Kidman). I enjoyed the movie, it's very Baz Luhrmann. And I love hanging on our porch. In the pic. above you can see Lilly playing out here with some Mardi Gras pearls the other day, stuff I found packed away in the basement. We're getting things out for a garage sale.

I'm so amazed at how girly Lilly can behave, draping herself with pearls, playing dress-up. Where did she get that from???? I haven't worn jewelery in ages. She's also quite the tomboy though, beating herself up right and left, front and back (I'm not going into detail here: enough to say she hit her head badly enough at the airport in Athens for the ambulance to arrive and transport us to the nearest doctor. She's fine now, though. But everyday she seems to manage to attain another bruise or wound).

What else? We've had a good first workweek. After labor day last Monday (Sept. 7), Leighton and I have taken turns working either in the morning or the afternoon. I have MWF before lunch to work, and Tu & Th afternoon. Leighton has MWF afternoon and Tu & Th morning. I've been going over to the library at Carleton college or Northfield city library for my work times. I like walking along Cannon river downtown to get to either place.

We've also been busy running errands. I went with Lilly to Trader Joe's on Thursday to stock up on yummy inexpensive foods and drinks, and Leighton went to Target and Best Buy yesterday to get us a new digital camera. We've also gotten ourselves a video camera to capture all those countless precious moments with Lilly ...

first day back in Northfield, Minnesota

So we're back, at "home." I say "home" because, while we've been homesick for the US and our house for quite a while now, and the first thing I say when we land on American soil yesterday (in Chicago) is how much I prefer arriving here, in the US, as opposed to in Norway, where we had a layover the night before (everybody was so ungalant, unfriendly, and unhelpful; at the end of a very long day, none of the business men offered to help me, as I took the shuttle from the airport to the hotel, all by myself (while Leighton took the bus downtown to pick up a suitcase we'd stored for the summer to take along over here), with Lilly in my arms, a stroller packed up, two big backpacks, and three carry-ons). And what more? In Chicago we're detained by the INS. Because I'm "only" a permanent resident (still an "alien," even if "legal"), with a green card. Apparently I can't be out of the country for more than a year, without having obtained a special "reentry permit" from the local INS office before departure. I had not, so I had to pay a $ 545 fee. Now, this all sounds neat and fine, too bad for me (the fine), but not a big deal. But of course they had to make it into one. Strutting their guns in a huge theatrical power play performance that lasted a good three hours, back and forth, an eternal while intermittent interrogation, nurturing the suspense... So not only do we miss our connecting flight to Minneapolis, we ended up with a very tired baby, being very tired ourselves.

But of course, Lilly is a trooper traveler and was only happy exploring during the entire ordeal. She fell asleep as soon as we got on the plane again, and continued sleeping when we got into the car at the airport, all the way down here, and into bed, slept all night, just a few feedings.

And good friends help. My friend Nancy did not only provide us with the car we've now bought (a Volvo 850 fom 1997), but had also got us some milk, bread, coffee and fruit. Heaven for tired people. And then my friend and amazing neighbor Dee had put flowers and more fruit on our kitchen counter with a friendly note greeing us as we got into the house.

Which does not look quite the way we remember it. Not only has stuff been moved around, it's filthy. A cleaning company has been through, but ignoring the micro, stove, and fridge, apparently, as well as drawers and cabinets. And vents and corners and tub and sinks and .... So we haven't unpacked quite yet. But have been busy all day, getting settled, reclaiming the space, our home. Getting organized and stocked up today, attacking the cleaning and laundry tomorrow.

Lilly seems quite happy with it all, she had a lovely walk downtown with me this morning to do some errands, running into people we know, friends and colleagues (always, in a small town like this), then later again with Leighton while I went to Target for lots of stuff, from the essential diapers and toilet paper to the things we've been wanting but not feeling we can afford, like a bouncer seat and baby monitor set ("calling system"). Leighton picked up, oh, about 16 boxes and some from my office at St. Olaf College. Now that I've quit, they seem quite eager to get me out of there and had given me till end of today to pick up all my stuff. I don't know quite what to make of this. Wounded feelings? Jealousy? Pettiness? Or just plain eagerness to get all clean and good to go for fall semester?

In any case. I do look forward to walking up to campus with Lilly, visiting with friends and colleagues, mainly, I realize, outside of my "home" department. But then they are also the ones who express the most sincere sentiment of regret that I'm leaving.

I am glad that we get to have all of fall here, a full three months. This is home. If one of many homes. It's an important home. For me, for Leighton, and for Lilly.

Then we got some of our favorite food for dinner that we've been craving: mixed field greens with strawberries, walnuts and blue cheese, local corn on the cob, chicken in bbq sauce, blue corn chips with flax seeds and salsa. And margaritas.

on this day in May

we hung out around the house, the apartment we're renting, that is, cleaned it, packed, got organized. We all woke up around 7 (late for us, Lilly and I, at least), after a good night of rest. I made oatmeal for us all, a wholesome start to the day. But this has also been a sunny gorgeous day, and like her mama, Lilly just can't stop going very easily when it's like this. So ecstatically bright and beautiful outside. Yesterday she had power naps here and there, today just 1/2 hour in the stroller when I took her for a walk, up and around Sognsvann, when she couldn't find rest in bed (typically she has a good 2 hrs. nap in bed during the day). But 1/2 hr. is better than no rest at all, and it's a win-win situation for the both of us when she has to sleep like that, on the roll: she gets some much needed rest, I get some exercise and sunshine.

Leighton and I realized only later in the day, when a good friend called to say her sweetheart just proposed to her, that we were supposed to have gotten married, for the second time, this same day, last year, at Valley Grove church, Northfield, Minnesota, to have the chance to celebrate our love, our life, our decision to spend it together, with friends and family there. But then we found out about Lilly and our plans changed...

Leighton in front of Valley Grove, last year on this day in May, the day we were supposed to get married there.

life evolves

I wrote earlier about our plans for a move to Eidfjord on the Hardanger fjord, but after a short visit there, we realized it's not for us. As our photos show, it's beautiful there, but far away from friends and resources, both here in Oslo and the US. Unfortunately, life in Oslo is expensive, and in the US we don't have health insurance, while Norway provides us with public health insurance, a child stipend, and an affordable student loan.

However, we've been at a loss in terms of finding affordable housing in Oslo after our current rental contract (for a subsidized apartment in the student dorm village at Sogn) expires end of June.

Now we've decided to hit the road, so to speak. We've bought round-trip tickets to Athens and will take the ferry from there to Sifnos, one of the Cycladic islands, where we plan on spending a couple of months before heading over to the US. Unless the house sells, we can stay there from Sept. 1 when our tenant moves out. We would like to stay through November to provide us with plenty of time to visit with friends and family, enjoy some of the things we miss, while also packing up our house and my office. Of course, I also need to make room for writing, and Leighton wants to sit in on a Norwegian class. And we'll take turns taking care of Lilly.

At some point, we'll make our way over to this side of the Atlantic ocean again. We'd like to go to Gran Canaria in December, like we did last year, but then we want to live in Oslo and stay here spring semester as I finish up my book and Leighton his thesis. At that point we'd like to find something we can make a more permanent home here in Oslo. By next summer, we can also look for paying jobs to help pay for it.

So these are our plans for now. Of course, life has a way of evolving, and since we prefer being open to its flux, rather than pushing through with set ways, our plans may change again... But for now, we really look forward to living on a Greek island for a couple of months this summer, and then to be back in the US this fall.

Update 5/30: So we've adjusted our plans already: We now think it'd be nice to be back in Oslo in December, to settle in before the new year begins, and enjoy the holiday spirit of førjulstid here with friends. And then perhaps hook up with some family down in France over Christmas. Doesn't sound too bad, huh?!

things I miss about the States

All things I miss about the US seem related to places (actually this also relates to food I now see, to shop for or sit down and enjoy) and people. I miss ...

• our house; hanging on the porch in the spring (surrounded by the scent of lilacs) and summer (into the fall), visiting with friends and good neighbors, going for walks in the neighborhood.
• eating lunch at the house with Leighton; yummy sandwiches made with fresh bread from the local bakery (Brick Oven Bakery), just down the street from our house.
  
• driving up and down to the Twin Cities in the midst of the vast prairie landscape, maybe stopping for a bagel snack at Einstein bros. in Bloomington. Walks in the arboretum.
• stopping for ice cream at Hogan brothers. Or having lunch (hummus pita sandwich and spicy bean soup) there.
• the warehouse district in Minneapolis, along the river, crossing the bridges, stopping for sushi at Origami.
  
• beer on the roof at Brit's in the summer, downtown Minneapolis.
• or at the deck of the Tavern or the Contented Cow, both overlooking the Cannon river in Northfield.
• or at Pracna on St. Anthony Main, on the riverfront, in Minneapolis (a surly furious).
• our local co-op, the freshness of the food, the friendly people.
• good yummy fresh salsa and healthy (sort of, right?) chips.
• corn on the cob in late summer.
• the lucky jeans store in Mall of America (though I hate shopping, I appreciate that I can find jeans that actually fit here).
  
• the lakes in Minneapolis, Minnehaha creek, Mississippi river (even)

These are just some of the things I miss about living in the Midwest. But I also get homesick for Seattle and the Pacific Northwest, and even other places in the States where I've been. I miss neighborhoods, parks, places to eat and drink, stores (like REI and Target, the Wedge, Trader Joe's, and our local co-op). I miss friends, family, neighbors, colleagues. I miss the general friendliness of people that you know and don't know.

Ahh, those good old days... A photo taken by Leighton, right around the time he moved into the house, back in 2006, late summer, me sipping a margarita.

vårt hus

Pictures of our house.

around the house

Lots is going on around here, packing things away and preparing for the move to Norway. We really got started after I heard from the Nansen Fund last week, that I've been awarded the John Dana Archbold Fellowship. The thing is, I have to leave for Oslo on June 19 to attend the University of Oslo International Summer School (required of the Fellowship recipient). That would give us very little time (the birth date can be as late as 42 weeks, that is June 18) to file the appropriate paperwork to obtain for the baby 1) a birth certificate, and 2) a passport (both of which are required for an infant to travel) after the baby is born. Meaning: Anne and the baby will in all likelihood have to leave after me, arriving in Oslo as late as July 30. This, of course, won't do; I don't want to miss out on the summer with Anne and our new baby. So I've put in a plea to the Nansen Fund, asking if I could possibly attend the summer school next summer, given the circumstance. (I've not heard back; so keep your fingers crossed.) But I've accepted the fellowship and will do what's necessary to keep it. So that's why we're getting busy around the house, assuming that I will have to leave in what is now two months.

Now we feel like there is too much to do, too little time. So Anne started clearing the closets and shelves, and organizing her office and paperwork. I've a few house chores to do, and I want to do some yard work before we move. Plus I have to apply for a resident permit, so I can live in Norway. We also need to rent the house; and we want to find a tenant before the baby is born (especially if I have to leave in June) because we don't want that to be an issue, causing any stress at the birth and afterwards. So lots is going on around here, like I said.

The house is shaping up, and I think this is all a good nesting exercise for Anne and me. Since we're moving to Norway, there's no nursery or baby area to put together. And the apartment in Norway won't exactly be homey. So this is our chance to nest. It's fun to look at the piles of baby clothes, ascending in sizes from age newborn to nine plus months; the playpen is up and the stroller is assembled. So it certainly looks like we are proud, expecting parents. We like to take inventory to remind ourselves what we have to look forward to. We are also spending quality time together, the three of us: every night before bed I rub Shea butter on Anne's belly, when we can interact with the baby. Last night the baby was responding to "Peanut Butter" but not "Jelly." (We amuse ourselves.) Actually, there's hardly a moment when we don't interact with (touch and talk), or at least think of (nearly incessantly), our little baby; the house and the packing and the preparing are all just distractions from what really matters most to us...

vårt hjem

our home, Christmas Eve (Julaften)

comfy bed

During our shopping outing, we picked up a new down comforter, pillows, and sheets at IKEA. They've proven an exquisite investment. Anne, who's been having a hard time sleeping, and therefore a poor relationship to the bed, now can't wait to get into it, and Leighton doesn't want to get out of it. Doesn't it look comfortable?