but they say it takes a village

[scenario: "she," a friend of mine, also the wife of "he." She's out of town for a conference, he's home alone with a baby-toddler boy. Following cut & pasted from facebook:]

(he): I don't think I have what it takes.
(other dad): You'd be surprised just how little it really takes.
(he): But sometimes what it takes is not compatible.

(he): I guess I also wonder if I should do whatever it takes.

(she): You DO have what it takes, of course you do!
(he): But they say it takes a village. I have something more like a hut, perhaps a yurt.

This little interchange made me smile, laugh, it's funny, and it's true. Our midwife told us about this research she'd read about, how people who live in shared community live longer. I crave adult contact. Today, the only person I spoke with "live" was my friend Nancy, for a couple of minutes, we dropped by her office, between classes. I can't really count the cashier at Cub's. And Leighton was via Skype.

When Lilly and I were in the park this afternoon, I saw two other "real" people there: the woman with the dog Lilly got to bark back at, and a Carleton student. Both talking on their cells. I was craving conversation with either (though I have no clue who they were), but they were so busy speaking on their cells.

Is this as good as it gets these days? I find myself, now that Leighton is gone, blogging, emailing, Skyping, chatting (online), facebooking, googling, etc., etc., more than when he's around to talk with. And it's not just to "waste" or "spend" time: I'm reaching out.

I think it's a little sad. Because in the morning, I wake up, and I don't feel 'filled' the way I do when I've spent an evening with people in person, unmediated by media. Of course, we're always separate, even when together, words never really bridge all that well, or sometimes they succeed ok. But there's an energy you can experience, without or despite words, when you're sharing space.

While I must confess to being sort of a loner, I also regret the way western culture today reinforces an individualistic form of living. Leighton and I have talked about how when we next move, we need it to be to somewhere we have friends, where we can build a community, a village.