new haircut, starting ballet, first letters, and a book deal!

We're in the midst of a series of milestones over here. Lilly recently had her very first haircut, she's started reading and writing letters, she's learned her first ballet moves, and I've signed a contract with a publisher that will release my first book sometimes this fall.

Lilly's hair didn't really start growing until around when she turned two. But by the end of last fall, it had gotten really quite long, and a bit unruly. We've been holding on to those baby curls though. However Lilly's hairdresser assured us that her curls wouldn't go away from a little trim, and we're please to say they haven't.

Lilly has always loved music and dancing and recently she announced that she wants to be a ballerina (and a fisherman, she added). With no end in sight to her ballerina craze, we decided to make a commitment to ballet lessons. She got fitted for ballerina shoes, and we got her a leotard and ballet tights too. Ever day after school and lunch, I give her a short hour ballet lesson. It's been fun for me to refresh my ballet memory and it gives us something to do together other than just playing all afternoon (which is not always so rewarding for me).

We also spend a good chunk of time reading books each afternoon. And we practice writing. Obviously, I love writing, so it's been a real joy to share the wonder of letters with Lilly. She's always loved books; we've always read lots to her; and even on her own she will often enjoy looking at her books, many of which she knows by heart. But that she now can point out what certain letters are, and that she even knows how to write many of them, is just so amazing to me. I didn't learn how to write until I started elementary school at age 7. That didn't necessarily deprive me of anything in the long run, but Lilly is clearly enjoying exploring this new chapter in her life opening up. She loves making her own books (a new author in the family!), and she has a passion for mail, collecting and writing letters.

My writing and Lilly's writing (her name) in my notebook.

And to conclude on the topic of books and writing: I this week signed a contract with a publisher for my book, After Pornified: How Women Are Transforming Pornography & Why It Really Matters. The publisher is Zero Books, a UK-based publisher with a transcontinental focus: half of its authors are based in the US. I'm really excited to be joining their team of authors whose discourse is "intellectual without being academic, popular without being populist." Zero Books is the Culture, Society, and Politics imprint of John Hunt Publishing, which has several other special focus imprints in addition to their General Topics imprint O-Books.

I'm sure there are many other firsts I could mention. We took Lilly to see her first feature film in a movie theater (the new Muppets movie, which she loved for all its singing and dancing). Last weekend, Lilly went to her first unattended-by-her parents birthday party, providing Leighton and I with the opportunity for a little date. And yesterday, Lilly had her official Early Childhood Screening that is done by the public school system in town; I was very proud of how well she did.

And then there all the things Lilly's learning in school now, doing lots of good work.

Cooking class at school (every Thursday)

I joined Lilly's class before Christmas to teach the children a Norwegian Christmas carol, singing and dancing around some evergreen boughs, replacing the tree.

Å jul med dine glede -- Oh Yule with your joy

And in January, the children celebrated Chinese New Year, including by doing a Chinese New Year Lion Dance:



Please visit Montessori Children's House Community page to access their online photo album (regularly updated with more photos) where you can get more snapshots into Lilly's life and work at school.

like mother, like daughter

Lilly has inherited this kåpe of Anne's (recently received from her grandparents in Norway). --And in case you haven't seen the resemblance before, here are a few pictures as proof that mama and daughter do in fact share the same jeans genes!

Lilly "almost" three

Conversation in the car on our way to the gym this morning:

Lilly: "Lilly er stor jente."                         
Mamma: "Ja, det er du, jenta mi."                    
Lilly: "Snart seks! -- Eller kanskje tre."           

Lilly: Lilly's a big girl.
Mama: Yes, you are, sweetie.
Lilly: Soon six! -- Or maybe three.

Strolling her cart around the house after lunch, dressed up with her pajamas, Lilly looks down on the floor:

"Unnskyld, Maria fly-fly."
"Excuse me lady bug."

when not reading to my daughter

A couple weeks ago I was washing dishes in the kitchen when I overheard Anne reading books to Lilly in the living room, out of sight. One was a book (Roar of a Snore) I enjoy reading to Lilly, which I read often enough that to hear it read by someone other than me was a bit strange at first. I suppose this would be the case, usually, because no two people read a book aloud in the same manner, with the same tone and inflection, etc. But to hear it being read to Lilly by someone other than me was the strange part; or rather to hear Anne interacting with Lilly, through the medium of this particular book, and creating a totally different experience out of it was what made me pause for a moment and really listen to Lilly in her lived experience, practically out of my control as she was learning and growing.

To be sure I can expect more moments like this, but it was, as far as I can recollect, the first time it hit me so strongly; that Lilly is out there on her own, no matter if she is with Anne or me; that Lilly is and will continue to be always just out of reach.

Now for the living-in-the-moment experience: it wasn't any jealously or loss that I felt at that moment, when I listened to this from the other room, as Anne took on the role which I felt was reserved for me, between Lilly and me; but instead it was one of those moments that makes being a father--I mean one of those moments that has been for me as a father--the very elusive essence of fatherhood, that indescribable something about fatherhood. In that moment as in others I was opened to the "whole new kind of love" which I had been warned of.

Anne and Lilly read a number of books that evening as I washed and dried the dishes. Perhaps it's nothing special, really, given the routine-ness of it all; but it will, for me, always be a part of my fatherhood, and stand out as a night to remember.

Lilly and mama dancing on the porch

With all this warm weather, we've been taking advantage of the porch just about every day. Here's a video of Lilly dancing to the tunes on her drum machine. Mama got excited and joined in the fun!

last day just Lilly and mama

It'll have been two (work) weeks that it's been just Lilly and I when Leighton gets back tomorrow, Friday (he left on a Monday, two weeks ago this coming Monday). While of course I look forward to seeing him again, and the time I'll be getting again now for my stuff (I'm supposed to get full as opposed to half workdays next week, which also coincides with Leighton's mom's visit: Julie, I hope you realize this and don't think I'm just rude when I take off every morning while you're here!). I can tell though that I'm also sort of dreading giving up this routine Lilly and I got going, or at least I'm anxious how what we now have nailed down, what of it that works, will be upset, changed. In particular the meals and sleep routines; I love how we got those kind of figured out in a calm way now. She's eating more too, more solids, for all three meals. We eat lunch and dinner earlier, and she goes down earlier for nap and in the evening. She started going down for her nap earlier before Leighton left too; because she wasn't feeling well, we think, maybe also the days getting shorter, because she'd go to bed earlier too. It's really nice in the evening how she'll go down around six now and it only takes half an hour from we're done with dinner, teeth brush and face & hands washed till she's asleep.

It really has also been an adventure to be just Lilly and I, and I always love an adventure, to see just how much I can do! That we both got sick on top of being alone just made me feel all the stronger.

Last night was another rough night; Lilly kept waking up from coughing fits. Then around 4 a.m. I noticed her pajama, both bottom and top, were soaked with pee (as was my pillow that she was lying on). So of course I had to change her, and after that she couldn't sleep again. So we had another long day ahead of us. But it turned out a smooth day, a good day. We read books (first thing she wants to do now), ate breakfast (she had lots of oatmeal and banana), watched the Baby Einstein DVDs. I showered, then pumped (now with more time in the morning, since I'm not rushing off for work, I have pumped almost every morning, storing up for some time off...). Then Lilly pooped (she said "do"! I wasn't sure at first, we typically just see it in her face, or she poops right away in the morning when she goes to the potty to pee; I love it if this is a new more advance cue! Sometimes she'll also point to the bathroom or walk out there. But today I was in the living room pumping and she walked up to me and said "do." ). I finished pumping, because I thought maybe she was also trying to say an animal sound or something, or "dog?" But she says "dog!" more with an emphasis, not in the questioning manner. And as I was wondering if she wanted to poo, it was clear something was on its way... We rushed to the bathroom, and a little turd was indeed on its way, but we got it all into the potty, lots of poop. She sat there contently, on her potty, reading her books, as she pooped. I love it.

Then we ran errands (Cubs for groceries, Wallgreens for more cold meds, bakery for bread) and home for lunch around 11. Done by 11:30, Lilly slept by 12:05. Slept two good hours while I had some time to work. I felt so tired, but for me the urge is typically to get some of my things done, sleep rarely tops the list, I am an experienced insomniac after all (I think I almost benefit some from that now...).

Lilly wanted out almost right away after her nap (after reading Goodnight Moon a couple of times first, it's so cool how she's into all her books these days. Thanks Marte and Lori for giving them to her!). I was so tired, I can tell I am more tired from being just me with her (the required attention), it's more like last year (I remember the afternoons being in particular challenging), and from us both being sick. Heading out felt so good! And she was so happy! Strolled down to Central Park, she played at the playground. I was dreading leaving when time would come for that, the unhappiness... But after 45 minutes, she decided she was done. She just walked off the park, turned around and said "bye" to the playground. I followed with the stroller, she walked beside me, all the way down to Division st. And then along Division st. to Bridge square, but by then I was getting tired of having to be so vigilant with her downtown, what with the traffic, and so I put her in the stroller. Fortunately, I'd brought snacks (bread and apple) which prevented unhappiness due to the "restriction," having to sit down. She was actually really happy on the way home.

Got home around 4:30, we'd been out for an hour and a half. Got food ready, fed her while I prepared it, she ate quite a bit, bread, grapes, some turkey and cheese, cucumber. She was so tired by 5:30, I asked if we should brush teeth, she went straight to the bathroom, but cried when I did brush them (how can we make this a positive experience???). She slept by 6:09. I hope tonight goes more smoothly for her.

Leighton called around 6:30, he's having a layover in Chicago now, we didn't talk much, I'm afraid of making sound, that might stir Lilly. Dishes are done now, it's almost 7:30, I'll have some time to read, relax. I've tidied up, lit the candles, it feels peaceful here (and hopefully it'll stay that way, unlike yesterday evening).

I was so proud of Lilly at the playground and look forward to having Leighton back and his mom here (she arrives Saturday night) to show off! She can climb up and slide down the big (but not the biggest) slide on the playground all by herself now! She did it endlessly, tirelessly today. So fun! At least she got lots of exercise. She's such a brave, strong girl. I love it. And then way she walked, almost ran, next to me, understanding not to veer from the sidewalk or take a left or a right if we weren't heading that way, hold my hand when we crossed a street, unless it seemed safe (she prefers to walk all on her own).

I'm also glad we didn't have to go through rush hour traffic this afternoon to pick up Leighton, Lilly wouldn't have been very happy in the car either, and it would have made it difficult to have dinner and get her in bed by her usual (new usual) time. It'll be good to go get papa in the morning tomorrow (he's spending the night by the airport, at his uncles'). As soon as we're done with our morning routine, we'll head out and drive up there, we'll all be fresher, we can be home for a leisurely lunch and some playtime maybe, and then Lilly can nap, and Leighton and I can talk, reconnect, he can unpack, get laundry set, we can organize all the things he brought over for us from Norway, some of our winter gear, books and notes, etc. I look forward to all of that, our day and evening tomorrow, we'll have fresh fish from the co-op for dinner and I got a film on DVD from the library for us that we can watch when Lilly is in bed.

Update: less than 2 minutes after I posted this, Lilly coughed herself awake. Looks like I'll be Florence Nightingale this night also.

Update II: So Lilly slept 1 1/2 hour, awoke from coughing, awoke after another half hour from coughing, then after 10 minutes, 5, 2 ... In the end she was so distraught, her cough sounds terrible, all she wants is to sleep and yet it hurts so much. I don't blame her; my chest hurts too now, yet my cough isn't nearly as bad as hers. In the end I just held her in my arms, sat in the living room with her for a bit, then turned off all the the lights in the house, went into our bedroom with her, lied down, made no attempts to leave the bed. Whenever she coughed, she could settle more quickly with me right there. The night nurse.

Now soon off to get Leighton home.

"make yourself at home"

We've been back over two weeks now. Settling in. There are many things to do around the house. Chores which are hard to get around to with our new schedules. But we're making ourselves at home.

Lilly loves all the space to run and play. Here she is with her friends, cozying up on the couch.

We inflated the pool last weekend. Anne and Lilly got in to cool off, pictured here playing "I see (you)!" Lilly says, over and over, "I see! I see!" with lots laughs.

Lilly also likes playing in our bed (even though she has her own big girl bed in her own bedroom). Here she is reclining against the pillows with her round belly, eating the cord to the window shade like a little glutton.

Here's a picture of the two women of the house on the sun porch, which we are getting good use out of while we still can. Mama got a new haircut and Lilly is wearing a cute new, "girlie" shirt . Aren't they both lovely!


We've added a new album called USA II. The Greece album is now complete. If you didn't keep up with our adventures this summer, link to the album and click on the "slideshow" button for an automated picture show. Also, we've updated some albums with pictures from our film camera, so check the sidebar.

big birthday walker

(Lilly's birthday in the park.)

Lilly had a great first birthday. So did mama and papa. We're very proud of our Lilly. Happy birthday and gratulerer med dagen!

We've added photos to the Norway V album and created a new album starting on Lilly's birthday.

Plus we've updated the Norway III, Norway V and Barcelona albums with photos taken on our film camera (attached at the ends of each album). Enjoy!