amazing fall

The full moon on Friday concluded a four-week Indian summer spell that we've been graced with here in Northfield. I'm so grateful we got all these sunny days to soak in the outside before we turn inwards for winter hibernation. My friends and I have vowed to stick to our weekly play-date in the Arboretum where we--six moms and eight kids--have been meeting every Wednesday these last lovely weeks for play and picnic--throughout the winter. As they say in Norway, there's no such thing as bad clothes, just bad gear (det finnes ikke dårlig vær, bare dårlig klær). More about how that turns out later. For now, let me share some of our summery fall magical times with you.

A family excursion to the Lake Harriet - Linden Hills neighborhood in Minneapolis for:

* a trolley ride on a historic train

* play and picnic by the lake

* a stop by the Wild Rumpus, a children's bookstore with hens and cats (among others) roam freely, and that has a little door in the big door for little people to enter through (Lilly loved this part in particular)

* super yummy ice-cream at the local Sebastian Joe in its charming courtyard where there's a giant tortoise to climb and play on

We had another nice family excursion to Cannon Falls, a small town only 20 minutes away, along the same river that runs through our town, for play at the playground, exploring down by the river, then over to the duck and swan pond, wandering along the Cannon Fall trail before and after lunch and milk shake at The Old Market Deli. (For pictures from this excursion and more fall fun, check out our online album, linked under "our photo albums" to the right or here.)

And then there have been all those everyday post-nap loungy times on the porch in the afternoon sunshine, strolls and play at various playgrounds, or along the river, or out at the orchard by the pond in the rose garden, with friends and their kids, or just Lilly and I.

As for indoor updates, Lilly LOVES going to "school;" the "Terrific Twos" class she's in on Monday mornings that's offered by the public schools' Early Family Education Program (ECFE). At breakfast those mornings, she'll talk about all her friends that she'll see in class, and when we get there she'll run excitedly into the building, hugging her friends as they arrive. She also LOVES the toddler gym class ("Wee jungle games") she's taking at the local YMCA on Monday afternoons where she gets to run, kick and throw balls, race tracks and obstacle courses, and more. Finally, she's graduated from the potty and now proudly pees and poops sitting on the toilet. We bought a little stool that's the perfect height for that and she'll position it just right, get her pants and panties down all by herself, and then bend over when she's done (ferdig!). So cute.

P.S. We already made an exception to our weekly play-date in the Arboretum yesterday when we had to dig out our winter coats before heading over to "Wiggles & Giggles" at the YMCA instead during the extremely cold and blustery weather that we were suddenly hit by, a storm described as "stronger than most hurricanes, more intense than the Armistice Day Blizzard, the 1991 Halloween Superstorm, and even the wild storm that sank the Edmund Fitzgerald on Lake Superior in 1975." Now that that storm's behind us, we plan to return to the Arboretum next week, however.

fall fun

We had a fun packed weekend with a visit to Sogn Valley Craft Fair on Saturday and the Nerstrand Big Woods on Sunday. Family excursions have become so thoroughly enjoyable now that Lilly's gotten so big that she can understand and do and remember so many things. She's still talking about how she danced at the craft fair and that we bought the pumpkin sitting by our entrance door there. And the river and all the fallen leaves she saw in the big woods. In the below video snap she's dancing at the craft fair:



And here she is as we're about to leave the big woods:



As I'm at it, I might as well add some more videos. Here she is on the couch surrounded by all her stuffed toy and doll friends:



And here she is playing on the couch with her best friend Anna:



Finally, at one of the local playgrounds, this one by the river next to the farmer's market, playing with our neighbor's son:

fall and back to school

As soon as we were on the other side of Labor day, we were hit by fall. After just a gorgeous spell of sunny summery days, it got cool, leaves started turning color, and now we've just had a record rain fall that's caused us to get water in the basement (as of 11 a.m. this morning, a state of emergency has been declared for for out town). Still, though you last found me holding on to summer, I've enjoyed the change of seasons. Leighton and I started taking turns working again, so I could finish revising my feminist porn manuscript which I've now submitted to my editor. That mission accomplished, I'm back being full time with Lilly again, except on Friday mornings when I pay my friend Mary to have her. Leighton packs a lunch and is gone all day at the library, working on his thesis, which is due November 15. This is a glimpse of everyday life for Lilly and I.

Monday: Lilly's in school! Well, sort of. From 8:30-10, she's in the "Terrific Twos" class offered by the public schools' Early Family Childhood Education (ECFE) program. From 9:15-9:50, it's separation time when the kids have a snack and then their play of choice while the parents meet in another room for group discussion. I was dreading this part in particular, but so far so good.

Lilly in the parking lot outside of "school"

Lilly in her classroom

Several of Lilly's friends and their moms, my friends, are in this class; we've been going out for coffee after to debrief, which has been really nice.

Tuesday: My friend Daisy pays me to have her daughter Bella from 8 a.m. - 1 p.m. She's 19 months and with a lot of energy, so there's a lot going on in the house those days, especially since she's going through potty training (four accidents within two hours last time) and has a huge appetite. She and Lilly play well together, despite the age difference, so that's a good thing.

Wednesday: Toddler Rhyme time at the library 10-11. The first half is dedicated to reading books and singing song, the other half to play. We missed it this week, because we toured the Montessori preschool in town that we'd like Lilly to be in as of next fall. She, and I, loved it there! A great space, both inside and out, wonderful staffing, and I really like the child focused approach to learning.

Thursday: Mary and I child swap for yoga. Her daughter is Lilly's best friend Anna, they're in ECFE together on Mondays and Lilly's with Anna and her mom on Fridays, so it's been working really well. Except that right now sharing is a real challenge for them. Like yesterday; Lilly has two chairs, a white and a blue. Both wanted the blue one and there was nothing I could do to have Lilly give it up for Anna to have a turn to sit in it, causing a wailing Anna.

Friday: Lilly's with Anna at Anna's mom from 8-12 so I get some time to write (on my sleep question book, and now this).

We thought for a while that Lilly's been done napping, but this summer when she was with me all day and had that consistency, she'd nap, and she still does. So after lunch it's about books and quiet time, then she naps, and then it's time for snack before I make dinner. She has an art class at the YMCA in the late afternoon on Mondays. Leighton goes to yoga Monday and Thursday evening, I go for a walk with my neighbor in the evening on Tuesdays and then yoga Wednesday evening. We still have fresh fish from the Co-op for dinner every Friday and I go to yoga Saturday morning and for a walk Sunday morning with a friend of mine.

We're creatures of habit, and it's a good thing. Summer was fun to be free to be spontaneous and leisurely about things. Now it feels good to be back to a routine. We're at a good place. I'm really enjoying my time with Lilly. I love how it's not all about care taking now, but also teaching (words, numbers, tasks, songs, etc.) and fun play (she's displaying a real sense of humor, tickling us or making fun of herself and then saying, "Lilly silly" or "Lilly tuller"). Her language's exploding, both in Norwegian and English. She loves to turn on the music and dance, play her instruments, and sing (her favorites right now: "Happy Birthday," "5 Little Ducks," "Twinkle, twinkle," "Mockingbird," and "Fader Jacob"). She likes to read books, draw and color, and make little things out of pieces that fit together, blocks and lego. 

It's a good thing she also likes to pretend cook and feed her baby Millie, because we spend a lot of time in the kitchen, seeing that I'm in charge of all meals and snacks (except Leighton's lunch and snacks; he packs his own food). She's taking to sitting on the kitchen counter where she has a better view and easier access to food to snack on and me to talk to.  

breathing room

After last week's post/rant: here's an update. The weather was great this weekend. Got outside for some yard work. Lilly was out with Anne on Saturday to rake the the yard and driveway (which was covered with leaves and walnuts). I borrowed our neighbors truck so I could take the yard waste to the compost site. Sunday afternoon after Lilly's nap we went out to rake more leaves and walnuts which just in that short time covered the driveway again. Lilly liked being outside. I cleaned the gutters on the garage and cut down the hostas while she ran around. Our neighbors were out too and Lilly was very impressed by the mower and leaf blower.

Today again we had beautiful weather. After errands and the library, Lilly and I played outside in the yard before lunch. We had just long-sleeved T-shirts (no jackets!): the sun was warm and the air felt healthy against the body and in the lungs.

It was my afternoon to work. I was surprised I could sit inside with such weather, but I felt refreshed from the weekend and morning outside. I felt renewed even. As if it knew -- 'IT' -- that somethings gotta give! Gotta give these people a break with the weather if their going to make it through the winter sane and sound.

Tonight at yoga I felt good, in sync with my practice. We were asked to set an intention. I chose a couple key words: focus and strength. I'm not the best at focusing my mind and body in the space, but I achieved some peace of mind when I found my breath in sync with my body. And I felt the strength in my body as I focused my breath and kept the pace. I felt the warmth in my body--the heat which comes from within.

During relaxation my thoughts turned into a kind of image. Breathing room, I thought. I don't know what this space is for you, where you might find it, if at all, but I felt it in my body. Though this would typically be considered space around the body. I felt it and I took a few big breaths, metaphorically speaking.

This reminds me of a quote I heard about parenting which went something like, "Parenting is the hardest job and it's given to amateurs." I think of this when I need a little breathing room, when I'm feeling a little shitty about being a bad dad or whatever. I tell myself it's OK to make mistakes; be the best dad I can be, which is the best I can do.

And when I'm feeling like I was last week--in a real funk over the weather--I need to remember to give myself a little breathing room, because the weather won't always do it for me, like today. Though I'm grateful for all the help I can get.

Lastly, I want to say something about yoga. It seems like I've been writing more and more about this. Since we've been back in the States, Anne and I have been going to yoga twice a week. Not only is this good 'I' time--alone, away from Anne and Lilly--it's feels like a good way to re-center my self. I'm not the best at doing this, like I suggest above: I don't often have much focus or peace of mind. (Sometimes I even get bored with the physical activity.) Although my thoughts are often outside the space and more often than not still 'at work' I do feel that yoga gives me some breathing room. I store this in my body. I take this with me. It's there when I need it and I can look forward to more every week.

shaking my fist at the sky

Fall came too suddenly this year. The signs outside point to this: with the branches and leaves having fallen from the trees into sad piles or covering the yard, for example, alive and green, left for dead. I feel it in my body too. As if off and running fully charged from summer vacation I tripped just a few yards out; my head and shoulders and chest thrown forward, sending me face first with all my momentum into the cold and damp ground; into a patch of slushy snow, no less (which is out there, to be sure). My mood feels just about the same. I'm in a funk. These last few days, while all else is as it should be, every day living, and all, something is off. I cannot concentrate. I cannot let go. Tonight at yoga I was so not into it. I felt this too when I walked out the door and up the stairs, into the dark, cold October night: I wanted to shake my fist at the sky! I thought about not too long ago when I could walk out and up from my practice and see the sun just starting to set; feel the air, still warm from the late-summer day; and breathe it all in. That's gone. And too suddenly. At least I have my two lovelies to come home to.

it can be different today

It was cold today and definitely a fall feeling when I was out mowing. I especially felt it this morning as I rode my bike to the library. Tuesdays and Thursdays are my mornings to work at the library: reading and writing for my master's program papers and thesis. On those days I spend the afternoons with Lilly. Thus today was my afternoon with Lilly.

This is my schedule. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I spend the mornings with Lilly and work in the afternoons. Anne has the opposite schedule. Weekends are designated family days.

However, Lilly's nap time is usually between 1 and 2:30. So on Tuesdays and Thursdays if Lilly isn't napping by 1 when Anne is scheduled to begin her afternoons to work, then we have a couple options. Lilly can nap later in the Bobber, in which case she only naps for 45 mins or so rather than her usual 2+ hrs in bed. Or Anne can stay home and put Lilly down for her nap (in which case Lilly usually falls asleep between 1 and 3) and sacrifice some of her work time, working when Lilly is napping, then moving into the bedroom or basement to work when Lilly wakes up and it's time to play and make dinner. (Today I tried putting Lilly down for her nap with the bottle but this didn't work: whether she was too wired, over-tired (or both), or if the light was too bright shining through the shades, I don't know.)

Today Lilly napped from 2:30-4. Anne stayed home and worked the first hour in the bedroom. By 2 Lilly was tired but still she couldn't sleep without Anne.

When Lilly woke up Anne said she herself was tired, that she could be with Lilly and make dinner if I would mow (which I've been meaning to get around to). I said hesitantly, "But it's my afternoon with Lilly. And I'm going to make dinner." Anne in return replied, "It can be different today." That's the short of it.

Without going into all the details, let me just finish by saying this. We don't live by schedules. Though it is (at least we have found it to be) a somewhat easier to navigate our days with Lilly when we have a schedule in mind, because it puts us at ease to know that if we're having a bit of a struggle whenever: then at such and such time somethings gotta change. Whether we need a break from Lilly, or from work, or if the morning is dragging on or the slow afternoon is putting us in a funk, we know that the clock is there to help us count it down.

But we don't live by schedules. Sometimes it's good to say, "It can be different today." I was thinking about this at yoga tonight. I was trying to find peace in my practice and in that simple phrase. Because in life like in yoga, you feel where your practice is that day; and you work with it.

fall equinox

Yesterday was fall equinox; and it definitely feels like fall here now. All of a sudden. Since we arrived here in Northfield on Sept. 1, we've enjoyed late summer time weather, sunshine, blue sky, balmy temperatures. I've been wearing short skirts and tank tops, Lilly's been in T-shirts and shorts, we've played in the baby pool, outside around the house, enjoyed on our porch. Then all of a sudden it got cooler, darker skies, shorter days, the evenings, nights and mornings feel almost chilly, the last couple of days I've worn jeans. When I walked home from the library the other day, fallen leaves were spinning in the air, blown around by the wind. I like fall too. Every season has its charm. We're still out on the porch at night, right now, it's a little after nine, Lilly's asleep, we're sipping this fall's first Oktoberfest, made by Surly Brewing Company, one of our favorite microbreweries (we prefer the Surly Furious, it's super hoppy and kind of flowery. But the Oktoberfest is a nice treat, dark and kind of nutty).

Yesterday also marks three weeks since we arrived and two weeks since we started taking turns working and being with Lilly. It was hard to get into the swing of things at first, a new routine, the writing mode. But now I'm really enjoying it. The time, either with Lilly or at the library, writing, editing, it goes by in a swish! Unfortunately, getting into the writing mode for me also means that my shoulders tense up, I get so darned caught up in the process, and so all of me becomes this bundle of concentrated energy. And then it starts to hurt. This afternoon when I was writing (while Lilly was napping), my shoulders hurt so bad I could tell my irritability was quickly rising.

But then I got to go to yoga this afternoon, after an early dinner. It felt so good, I almost cried. Yoga is like giving your own body a good massage, at least for me it is. I'm so grateful we're both getting to practice now. Leighton goes Monday night, then I go on Wednesdays, as well as Saturday morning. There's also a class Thursday night Leighton can go to. And Tuesday nights, I get to walk with Dee, witnessing and being with the changes that surround us, that we're in.

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Lilly update: wants to do all we do, from eating what we eat (including my pita sandwich this afternoon, with goat milk yoghurt, turkey, cheese, grapes, and mustard. Another favorite is parmesan cheese; she likes it more than the noodles we dust it on. She also wants our coffees and my tea; I gave her a tea spoon taste today, she kept wanting more...), to unlocking doors with our keys, reading her new book from Marte, dancing to Raffi's songs, stomping around, running, not walking, mimicking our talk, doing her own talk, playing with other kids at the library, playing with her "baby" doll Rita, and of course playing with her dogs ("vov, vov!" her dogs are now plentiful: Eddy, Snoopi, Husky, and then there's bamse, and gopher, and pus-pus). She loves "swimming" in the bath tub and the baby pool outside (but now I think the season for that's over). Meeting other kids in the neighborhood ("heeeiiii!!!" w/big smiles). And other adults. And animals (she likes the ducks in the river, and whatever cat and dog she hears or sees, and birds. But she's not too interested in the squirrels, and there are plenty of those around.