amazing fall

The full moon on Friday concluded a four-week Indian summer spell that we've been graced with here in Northfield. I'm so grateful we got all these sunny days to soak in the outside before we turn inwards for winter hibernation. My friends and I have vowed to stick to our weekly play-date in the Arboretum where we--six moms and eight kids--have been meeting every Wednesday these last lovely weeks for play and picnic--throughout the winter. As they say in Norway, there's no such thing as bad clothes, just bad gear (det finnes ikke dårlig vær, bare dårlig klær). More about how that turns out later. For now, let me share some of our summery fall magical times with you.

A family excursion to the Lake Harriet - Linden Hills neighborhood in Minneapolis for:

* a trolley ride on a historic train

* play and picnic by the lake

* a stop by the Wild Rumpus, a children's bookstore with hens and cats (among others) roam freely, and that has a little door in the big door for little people to enter through (Lilly loved this part in particular)

* super yummy ice-cream at the local Sebastian Joe in its charming courtyard where there's a giant tortoise to climb and play on

We had another nice family excursion to Cannon Falls, a small town only 20 minutes away, along the same river that runs through our town, for play at the playground, exploring down by the river, then over to the duck and swan pond, wandering along the Cannon Fall trail before and after lunch and milk shake at The Old Market Deli. (For pictures from this excursion and more fall fun, check out our online album, linked under "our photo albums" to the right or here.)

And then there have been all those everyday post-nap loungy times on the porch in the afternoon sunshine, strolls and play at various playgrounds, or along the river, or out at the orchard by the pond in the rose garden, with friends and their kids, or just Lilly and I.

As for indoor updates, Lilly LOVES going to "school;" the "Terrific Twos" class she's in on Monday mornings that's offered by the public schools' Early Family Education Program (ECFE). At breakfast those mornings, she'll talk about all her friends that she'll see in class, and when we get there she'll run excitedly into the building, hugging her friends as they arrive. She also LOVES the toddler gym class ("Wee jungle games") she's taking at the local YMCA on Monday afternoons where she gets to run, kick and throw balls, race tracks and obstacle courses, and more. Finally, she's graduated from the potty and now proudly pees and poops sitting on the toilet. We bought a little stool that's the perfect height for that and she'll position it just right, get her pants and panties down all by herself, and then bend over when she's done (ferdig!). So cute.

P.S. We already made an exception to our weekly play-date in the Arboretum yesterday when we had to dig out our winter coats before heading over to "Wiggles & Giggles" at the YMCA instead during the extremely cold and blustery weather that we were suddenly hit by, a storm described as "stronger than most hurricanes, more intense than the Armistice Day Blizzard, the 1991 Halloween Superstorm, and even the wild storm that sank the Edmund Fitzgerald on Lake Superior in 1975." Now that that storm's behind us, we plan to return to the Arboretum next week, however.

socializing

Wednesday night Leighton and I finally got our date night. Except for a lunch out in January when my friend Helene took Lilly for a stroll in a nearby park, and one late evening in June when our friend Hege came over and we went out for a couple of late night beers (Lilly didn't go down till nine or so that evening), Leighton and I haven't had a real date yet. So this week when Leighton's mom was here, we really wanted to have a night out. We tried Tuesday; no luck. Lilly did not want to go to bed and by the time she did, it was too late for us to go out. Wednesday she fell asleep by 6:55 p.m; we were out of the door by 7:10 p.m. We went to the Indian restaurant Chapati, our favorite restaurant in town. We had vowed to eat slowly, to really enjoy not having to down the food as fast as possible. However, we were both really hungry, and so we didn't manage to eat too slowly, but we still really enjoyed eating uninterruptedly and while the food was still warm! We were done by 9 p.m., and seeing all seemed calm on the home front, we went over to the Contented Cow, a pub owned by the same British guy who owns Chapati, and had a drink there by the fireplace. We struck up a conversation with a nice elderly man who sat there, talked a lot about Lilly ... And ourselves. Shared stories. It was really nice.

Then last night I had my first sleepover since June, when I had my very first night away from Lilly when Hege and I headed over to her mom's empty apartment for the night with a kilo of shrimp, a couple of baguettes, some cava and white wine. Yesterday afternoon I headed up to Saint Paul for a ladies' night out: tiny bubbles and appetizers at my friend Stephanie's house in the Cathedral Hill neighborhood, dinner after that at La Grolla's around the corner on Selby (I had a delicious seafood pasta dish and some of that velvety petit syrah we shared), and then the four of us finished off the evening back at the house with more red wine and chocolate cake from Cafe Latte. This morning I met another friend at Nina's Coffee Cafe on top of Garrison Keillor's bookstore, Common Good Books.

It was so lovely to have this time to visit with friends, to be out and about in town and city, soak in some of the flair of urban living.

And then it's so good to come home after that. On my way home, I stopped by Cafe Latte for some yummy organic ten grain bread and Trader Joe's to stock up on affordable wholesome groceries, got back to the house at a quarter till noon, just in for lunch. Lilly was so wound up, we were so excited to see each other again, she didn't go down for a nap till 2:45 p.m.

party party party!

So we did end up going to the pumpkin carving party last night after all and we had a blast! I can't believe it, Lilly not having napped all day at all. I had her in her pajamas, in case she'd crash. But she did not! She played and had fun with the other toddlers from five o'clock till after eight while I got to visit with some new people, enjoy the delicious pumpkin curry, and sip on some white whine. Lilly amazed and charmed everyone with her independence and happy mood. The hosts had a small slide that she'd climb up and slide down on, all by herself, after I'd shown her a couple of times how to do it, holding her hand as she climbed the steps. She'd run around with the other children, paint a little (she wasn't too into that, though; she's more into people). Lilly's a social bug who loves a party for sure! My kind of girl.

I was really happy to connect with other new parents with children around the same age, some of them I knew already, some I knew a little bit, some were entirely new to me. It'd be nice if we could continue sharing community like we did last night.

This morning we went over to play with our neighbors' cats and give them more food and water, Lilly stroked and talked to them. Then we watched Baby Einstein Neighborhood Animals; she can name a lot of the animals now, "dog," "babbit" (rabbit), etc. It's a blustery wet but mild day. We're heading over to the library at 10 a.m. and then later in the afternoon we're meet friends at Froggy Bottoms for beer.

Update: Froggy Bottoms is not a child friendly place. Though it was nice to see friends, I did not enjoy myself very much. It's too big of a place with too many unsafe things for Lilly to get into and not easy to keep track of her whereabouts; the booths and high tables and chairs prevent a good visual overview. We were so much happier and relaxed at the Tavern lounge, so we'll go there next time. It's a small contained room without much clutter, and tables and chairs are lower so it's easier to follow Lilly with one's eyes to see where she's at.

a great rainy day

It's 4:30 p.m., and Lilly hasn't had her nap (yet?), but, I'm amazed to say, she's happy -- and has been all day. She had a good night. She needed a little comforting around 9 p.m., then slept till after 2 a.m. Did not need more medication last night and was calm till morning when she got out of bed with a smile! Didn't even have time to go to the potty, just straight to all her toys.

This morning I was busy preparing for my small ladies brunch/lunch, and Lilly was happily playing on her own, studying her books and puzzles, so cute! Same when the ladies were here, she kept playing on her own, just visiting with us every now.

My guests (three strong women that I know through Lakselaget luncheons) arrived around eleven and left around one thirty. Lilly was past her nap time by then, and I thought she'd have an easy time falling asleep, but she either got so wired or happy or I don't know what. Unfortunately, her cold symptoms came back now during the last hour or so (because she's overtired?). Don't think we shall go to the pumpkin carving party at five...

It's been a rainy day; our home is so cozy on days like these!! With candles burning, the warm colors of the furniture and rugs. I love it!

It felt so good to have some adult conversation. We laughed, shared, cried, it was all good, all real. I'd made my usual pasta salad (whole wheat pasta shells, sauteed onion and mushroom, mozarrella cheese, green bell pepper, cherry tomatoes, kalamate olives, and a sauce made of Greek nonfat yoghurt, mustard, garlic, salt & peper). I'd gotten a baguette from the co-op, served it warm from the oven, crackers and brie for appetizers, with olives stuffed with hot peppers, grapes ... Sorbet for dessert. Sparkling wine. I'm getting hungry for more as I write this! It is getting close to dinner time. And so luckily there are lots of leftovers!

but they say it takes a village

[scenario: "she," a friend of mine, also the wife of "he." She's out of town for a conference, he's home alone with a baby-toddler boy. Following cut & pasted from facebook:]

(he): I don't think I have what it takes.
(other dad): You'd be surprised just how little it really takes.
(he): But sometimes what it takes is not compatible.

(he): I guess I also wonder if I should do whatever it takes.

(she): You DO have what it takes, of course you do!
(he): But they say it takes a village. I have something more like a hut, perhaps a yurt.

This little interchange made me smile, laugh, it's funny, and it's true. Our midwife told us about this research she'd read about, how people who live in shared community live longer. I crave adult contact. Today, the only person I spoke with "live" was my friend Nancy, for a couple of minutes, we dropped by her office, between classes. I can't really count the cashier at Cub's. And Leighton was via Skype.

When Lilly and I were in the park this afternoon, I saw two other "real" people there: the woman with the dog Lilly got to bark back at, and a Carleton student. Both talking on their cells. I was craving conversation with either (though I have no clue who they were), but they were so busy speaking on their cells.

Is this as good as it gets these days? I find myself, now that Leighton is gone, blogging, emailing, Skyping, chatting (online), facebooking, googling, etc., etc., more than when he's around to talk with. And it's not just to "waste" or "spend" time: I'm reaching out.

I think it's a little sad. Because in the morning, I wake up, and I don't feel 'filled' the way I do when I've spent an evening with people in person, unmediated by media. Of course, we're always separate, even when together, words never really bridge all that well, or sometimes they succeed ok. But there's an energy you can experience, without or despite words, when you're sharing space.

While I must confess to being sort of a loner, I also regret the way western culture today reinforces an individualistic form of living. Leighton and I have talked about how when we next move, we need it to be to somewhere we have friends, where we can build a community, a village.