on this day in May

we hung out around the house, the apartment we're renting, that is, cleaned it, packed, got organized. We all woke up around 7 (late for us, Lilly and I, at least), after a good night of rest. I made oatmeal for us all, a wholesome start to the day. But this has also been a sunny gorgeous day, and like her mama, Lilly just can't stop going very easily when it's like this. So ecstatically bright and beautiful outside. Yesterday she had power naps here and there, today just 1/2 hour in the stroller when I took her for a walk, up and around Sognsvann, when she couldn't find rest in bed (typically she has a good 2 hrs. nap in bed during the day). But 1/2 hr. is better than no rest at all, and it's a win-win situation for the both of us when she has to sleep like that, on the roll: she gets some much needed rest, I get some exercise and sunshine.

Leighton and I realized only later in the day, when a good friend called to say her sweetheart just proposed to her, that we were supposed to have gotten married, for the second time, this same day, last year, at Valley Grove church, Northfield, Minnesota, to have the chance to celebrate our love, our life, our decision to spend it together, with friends and family there. But then we found out about Lilly and our plans changed...

Leighton in front of Valley Grove, last year on this day in May, the day we were supposed to get married there.

my idea of a perfect day

(Lilly and I on the ferry, on our way to the beach, at Langøyene.)
is waking up to a sunny day and I haven't had enough sleep, but I know I heard the newspaper arrive outside (which can be anytime between 4 and 6 a.m.), and I feel this restlessness to just get up to greet the morning, celebrate the day, get going, get out there, and Lilly's right there beside me, with the same urge, so we get up, while Leighton's still sleeping, for maybe another two-three hours. So Lilly and I, we go to the toilet, get dressed, maybe Mikkes klubbhus or Handy Manny is on the TV, if so, Lilly watches that, while I read the paper and sip on a cup of coffee. Then we have breakfast. And then Leighton wakes up, and Lilly's tired by now, but she can't sleep in bed, so I take her out in the stroller and walk, run, up to Sognsvann. By now she's asleep, so I run around the lake, in all its early morning glory, listening to a Pure Disco album on my ipod, feeling so ecstatically happy to see the sun, the lake, the horses, swans, the other early bird risers that are out jogging. By the time we're heading home, the sun's already high up on the sky, it's 9'ish, Lilly's still sleeping, so I park her outside in the stroller, outside, while I begin getting ready inside, with Leighton, for a day at the beach. By 10, we're ready to leave the apartment, catch the subway, then the bus, and finally the ferry that will take us to the islands in the Oslo fjord, Langøyene, where we'll enjoy the lunch we packed, relax and play in the sun. By the time we've eaten, Lilly is tired again and falls alseep when Leighton takes her for a little stroll. Then it's back again, to our little camp, incidentally (or not) where Leighton and I hung out when we reached the same destination, back in June 2007, on our pre-honeymoon trip to Oslo.

After a long day, Lilly's tired, and on our way home, she falls asleep for the third time this day, in the stroller yet again, and is still asleep when we get home, so we unpack, shower, get things ready for supper while she still sleeps. And then we feast on shrimp and sparkling wine from our good friends Hege and Klaus, a birthday gift for me that's been lying around, waiting for this one special occasion, and this precious day is it.

life evolves

I wrote earlier about our plans for a move to Eidfjord on the Hardanger fjord, but after a short visit there, we realized it's not for us. As our photos show, it's beautiful there, but far away from friends and resources, both here in Oslo and the US. Unfortunately, life in Oslo is expensive, and in the US we don't have health insurance, while Norway provides us with public health insurance, a child stipend, and an affordable student loan.

However, we've been at a loss in terms of finding affordable housing in Oslo after our current rental contract (for a subsidized apartment in the student dorm village at Sogn) expires end of June.

Now we've decided to hit the road, so to speak. We've bought round-trip tickets to Athens and will take the ferry from there to Sifnos, one of the Cycladic islands, where we plan on spending a couple of months before heading over to the US. Unless the house sells, we can stay there from Sept. 1 when our tenant moves out. We would like to stay through November to provide us with plenty of time to visit with friends and family, enjoy some of the things we miss, while also packing up our house and my office. Of course, I also need to make room for writing, and Leighton wants to sit in on a Norwegian class. And we'll take turns taking care of Lilly.

At some point, we'll make our way over to this side of the Atlantic ocean again. We'd like to go to Gran Canaria in December, like we did last year, but then we want to live in Oslo and stay here spring semester as I finish up my book and Leighton his thesis. At that point we'd like to find something we can make a more permanent home here in Oslo. By next summer, we can also look for paying jobs to help pay for it.

So these are our plans for now. Of course, life has a way of evolving, and since we prefer being open to its flux, rather than pushing through with set ways, our plans may change again... But for now, we really look forward to living on a Greek island for a couple of months this summer, and then to be back in the US this fall.

Update 5/30: So we've adjusted our plans already: We now think it'd be nice to be back in Oslo in December, to settle in before the new year begins, and enjoy the holiday spirit of førjulstid here with friends. And then perhaps hook up with some family down in France over Christmas. Doesn't sound too bad, huh?!

Something about fatherhood

Just a quick post since I should be working. Lilly is 11 months today. Almost 1 year. Which is hard to believe, time goes by so quickly. I've been thinking about fatherhood. I've been thinking back on everything. Trying to remember what it was like before Lilly, that's to say waiting for Lilly.

Recently I read a friend's blog post in which he was complaining about baby books for fathers-to-be. I recognized the picture he had posted of The Guy's Guide, which is mostly crap. In response I posted a comment:

The best advice I was given, which wasn't advice, really, but just something to turn around in my head before and especially after the birth and even now at almost one year, was from a friend: he said to me, Get ready for a whole new kind of love. And it's true. At least for me. Another thing, which I heard on NPR, and on a totally unrelated topic, was that parenting is the hardest job, and it's given to amateurs. This provided a little breathing room. And finally, in a book I received from my father about fathers and daughters, you know, one of those gift books with quotes, I read something like this: The hardest part of parenting is letting your hopes for you child outweigh your fears. There you have it.

There's no telling what advice is best for fathers (or for mothers). Really it's different for all. Of course. Some like funny, some like facts, others like tips and others timetables (please excuse the alliteration). Anyway, the point being... Is there a point to all this?

I just thought I'd share. What has been the most remarkable thing about becoming a father is that whole new kind of love: that ever-expanding love I feel for my daughter. I am forever grateful and happier for it.

one of the girls

great times in Barcelona

We had been warned that big city vacations can be challenging with a small child, but man, did Leighton and I have a good time with Lilly in Barcelona! It went above and beyond any and all expectations I had and could have had. I backpacked through Spain back in 2000, for the month of July, after successfully having defended my dissertation that previous June. Barcelona was my first stop. I stayed in a youth hostel by the port, between the Ramblas and the medieval quarter. This time we rented a penthouse apartment on Rambla del Raval, parallel to the Ramblas. It wasn't super fancy, but definitely more comfortable than what I'd stayed in before; we had a separate bedroom, but also a futon in the living room to crash and play on, and we had a great sunny deck overlooking the Rambla.

On the day we arrived we went over to Pl. Reial where we had thin crust pizzas for dinner.

Lilly got some bread to munch on when she woke up, then we danced a little,

and then Leighton took some pictures of us over by the fountain.

Back in 2000, I remember partying here with a group of Americans I'd met at the hostel, we'd sit around the fountain and drink beer while one of the guys played a guitar, and we danced. So somethings never change, while at the same time they change entirely.

Leighton's posted a new album with more pictures from our trip that will give you an impression of our week there, the sights we saw, the food we ate, the good times we had. For anyone planning an urban vacation with a child, I'd recommend the following:

1) rent an apartment: that way you can prepare and eat some of the meals at home (which tends to be less of a hassle with a child; at least Lilly is very happy when she can roam around and be as load as she'd like),

2) make sure you have a booster chair for your child; in Barcelona, hardly any of the places we went to eat or have coffee had high chairs for children. Timing is also an issue here. When Lilly was little (up till 3 months or so?), it was easy to nurse and eat at the same time. Then she got a little squirmier, was more easily distracted and couldn't focus as well on feeding when we were out. At 6 months, when we went to Gran Canaria, she was not quite big enough to sit in a high chair, at least not for an entire meal. She could play a little on the floor (now she'd escape us if we let her down on the floor in a restaurant). At 10 months, she was just the perfect age to enjoy joining us by the table, sitting in her own chair, and eating or interacting with the people at the surrounding tables when we were out to eat.

3) avoid super long flights (5 + hrs. was pushing it, 3 hrs. went just fine).

4) avoid too hot or too cold climates. It was so nice not to have to worry about Lilly getting either too warm or cold.

5) make sure there's an elevator if you don't live on the ground floor.

6) go somewhere where it's easy to stroll a stroller; Barcelona had excellent pavements and smooth intersections.

7) pick a destination with a diversity of things to do; in Gran Canaria we were limited to our apartment, the beach walk, and the pool area. When it was too cool to be outside or swim, there wasn't too much else to do (aside shopping, which I find stressful with (and even without) a child). In a city like Barcelona, there are great museums for rainy days (we went to the Picasso museum), lovely parks for sunny days (we went to the city park and the Gaudi park), markets where there's lots to watch and fresh food to sample or buy to prepare at home, bakeries to get yummy bread, a cafe for coffee breaks on every corner, an abundance of walks to take and sightsee, etc., etc.

Lilly and papa

Lilly and I spent our first night together without Anne! Wow! Big news!

Anne was out with a friend and then crashed on the couch. Lilly and I went for a walk, watched Drømmehagen, ate dinner, played with her toys, danced to the radio, and Lilly got a bath. Although she wasn't ready for bed at first and we had to go back out into the living room to burn off extra energy, Lilly finally fell asleep and slept until almost midnight. After that we were up, off and on: Lilly got some gas and had to poo on the potty, and she was a bit restless because we ran out of milk. But then she slept for a few hours straight, before waking up sometime between six and seven: when I woke up she was sitting on her knees, watching me, waiting to play. I was very tired but exited that we made it through the night together. So yay!

Anne and Lilly are napping now. I've been updating the photo links, so check them out: new pics on the Norway IV album; a new album from our trip to Eidfjord; and, just so you know, another new album coming soon.