Readjusting in times of change

We returned from our trip to California determined to make some changes in our lives, some personal and some concerning our daughter. We had talked about changing bedtime, with more routines, and more papa. Yesterday, because we got home from our trip so late, our daily routines were off. We woke up late and spent the morning unpacking, running errands, etc. Lilly took a late nap. And Anne went to bed early. So last night, our first night back, I put Lilly to bed.

After dinner, Anne and I were talking: big talk, big plans for the near future. She got exasperated (she also had a headache from the weather or something) and went into the bedroom and closed the door. Lilly and I finished playing ("burning off energy") then started her bath. Unfortunately, she pulled up the shower knob. The water scared her and she wanted out. After that we got the house ready for bedtime (by turning lights out, etc.) and warmed up some of mama's milk. I wrestled Lilly into her nighttime diaper and pajamas, then we turned on Raffi's Quiet Time CD and read Lille Baby a few times over.

But Lilly wasn't ready for bed. (Also, she was showing what seemed to me to be signs of separation anxiety. Both Anne and I have noticed this recently: see her post.) Lilly tried to find anything to do other than sleep and finally wanted out of the room. She wouldn't drink any milk but requested salami. So we played a game of "you eat half and I eat half" for way too many slices.

Eventually I took Lilly back into the bedroom. We made a round of all the things in the room that she likes to point out and pick up, then we sat down on the bed to read the book "one more time" while Lilly sipped on her water. She laid back and allowed me to turn out the light.

This wasn't the end. Lilly was restless (as always) but more in a needy way. She ended up clinging to me, lying on my chest. That's how she fell asleep. I waited a bit before laying her on the bed and leaving the room.

Her room and the whole house was a mess, with clothes and toys and dishes everywhere. It was 9:52. I straightened up and did the dishes.

As I mentioned, Anne and I had talked about introducing more of me into the bedtime routine: bath, brushing teeth, diaper and pajamas, reading a book, after which Anne would give Lilly milk, then I would put Lilly to bed. Tonight, Anne came back from a La Leche League meeting, having decided that the last part is too much too soon. Even though she is tired and beaten from all that Lilly demands during her nap and bedtimes, Anne wants to continue (for the most part) being the one to put Lilly to bed. Anne started nighttime weening in January (with some setback due to illness in February). Now that Lilly is having more play dates while Anne goes to yoga (since February) and when mama and papa go on their dates (four thus far in almost two years, with those within these last months), and in addition to the fact that Lilly is doing so well with her potty and wearing underwear, Anne feels that for me to put Lilly to bed is too much. These factors might be the cause of the recent signs of separation anxiety--with the world getting bigger and Lilly clinging fast to her safety. I agree. It does seem like it would be best to take it easy for now.

In the meantime, I will continue with more evening routines and putting Lilly to bed occasionally, when Anne wants to go out in the evenings. And we as a family will start with some more fun changes like redecorating Lilly's room with a personal touch.